I don’t know if there’s ever been a better toy in existence than the lightsaber toys that dominated the shelves in the 2000s. They are 1000% cooler than those silly Harry Potter wands could ever be. They lit up, made cool noises, and were the perfect tool for accidentally whacking your sibling in the throat. When you’re a child, whether you’re an avid Star Wars fan or not, you feel an almost primeval urge to get into sword fights with other children. You could use sticks, flimsy foam swords, or croquet mallets, but none of them make you feel like you’re fighting for your life. When you’ve got a plastic lightsaber in your hands, you could very easily end a life, and I believe that to this day. No stink bomb or slime fiasco could ever come close to doing the damage that toy lightsabers have done to the bodies of younger siblings. And frankly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.