Psstt– hey, you. Yeah, you. Over there. Come here for a second. Sorry I’m whispering. I don’t have much time and I don’t want anyone to hear me. Do you like memes? Of course you do. They’re the glue that keeps the whole internet together. I mean, imagine how bleak the whole internet would be without them. It would be a cruel, hateful place, with only corny cute pics to keep us safe from the constant updates from a vicious, violent world. Anyway. The reason I called you over here is because I’ve got a nice collection of memes I’m trying to…get rid of. They, uh…fell off the truck, if you will. This isn’t about money. I don’t need that. I just need to lay low for a little while. And I need to get these funny, weird, and sometimes spicy memes out of my hands and into someone else’s. Don’t worry. The people who are after me won’t come after you. They want me. Not the memes. You’re safe. I promise. They just need a good home and some people to make them feel safe. Oh god…are those sirens? Take them quickly – and be safe – godspeed!
